So...

Where should I start.

I am not sure if I belong with QYN any more. Things have taken place that have threatened that "safe space" for me. As well as the facebook group. I loved the group chats and things, but while others who have issues with me are about then I know that I cannot be part of them.

You work so hard to improve your life and such and then things rear their ugly heads.

I have a limited social life as it is. But sooner or later I am going to have to back off from the Queer part of it. I have tried hard to get on with and get to know the people I have had problems with before. And it kind of works. But there is always someone.

I can't keep running from them all, I try my best to ignore them and all that, but I am growing tired. All that is left is to cut them out. And then move on completely.

When did life get so complicated?

I think I may have to go to the Wargames club next Tuesday.
Could do with a break from stuff.

A steampunk based RPG...

I am sending this out to see if you would like to join me in playing an online Role Playing Game. Based at the turn of the 1900, the end of the long Victorian period.
In a world of exploration, steam and new science.

A world like ours but very different.
A world were we need to decide if we are part of two fractions (so we can build the world around it!)

So firstly we will start with whether or not we are part of the Evolutionist or the Machinists.

The Evolutionists are to be blunt people who us mutated animals in place of machines. Everything could be bred to suit a purpose.

The Machinists as you may have guessed use Steampowered technology, using giant walking death machines and cold brass and steel.

Secondly
Well we need a captain,
I am taking Engineer (mainly as I am building the forum lol)
Gabrielle will be the helmsman.
A navigator
and a quartermaster.

Then we may need some Midshipmen etc But that depends on the amount of people who want to take place.

Finally there is going to be some kind Sherlock Holmes style adventure to follow in this world we shall create.

Thank you people
Terran

Some good stuff.

So I am being checked for a place at Uni, I have been applying for Apprenticeships and many others things of late.

I am kind of enjoying life a little if I am honest :)

Maybe that is the sunlight maybe.

Who knows :)

Concentration doesn't seem good but oh well :)

Life the glamour, the gits and the struggles

I am needing an out let.

The last few months (since I moved to Rushden) have been odd and sometimes rather complex.

I have managed to lose friends, and the ones I have I don't get to see enough of.

I guess it all started back in March. I got a stream of Text messages from some I will refer to as X. Basically X decided I spent way to much time (I mean 3 nights and upto 5 days!) with Sarah my girl friend. They also indicated that "others" felt the same but refused to say who they were. X told me that I had to make a choice between Sarah or my friends. Now I got angry and told them they had no place to tell me who I couldn't or could be friends with, or how much time I spend with my partner, as it was none of their (collective) business and if they didn't like it then they had best to leave and not consider me their friend. X spun a tale, about how hurt they were and all that etc, and I forgave them. Things carried on as normal.

Then yesterday they tried something else, and are now pinning their issues on me.

I do wonder sometimes why I even do try to have friends and the like, so many of them are so unpleasant in the end of times. I can read people, but I never seem to understand them until too late. Then the damage is done.

Bah!

I am who I am if you really do not like that, or me, then PLEASE just say good bye, and leave for good. That is all I ask, I no longer care for the insolence and petty attitudes of others, people just hurt and then hurt me some more, it is true that you can't ever escape bullies, they keep coming back to get you in one form or another. And maybe it is horrid to say it, but Mum said this kind of behaviour is typical amongst XX individuals. Maybe she is right. I have never had issues like this with XY people. Seems to be a little too much of a coincidence right now.

I could post this somewhere else, but I am not going to, I needed to get it off my chest and not have people tell me either "I am staying Neutral, I am not getting involved etc". I never said to pick a side, and you damn well know I wouldn't ask/expect anyone to pick mine. I would do what I do best, push you all away and go back to hiding. But no, I am standing here and saying what I want in a place that is safe to me. I am voicing MY feelings, because if I did say them anywhere else, or to anyone then I know people would make me out to be the bad guy, because that is the glamorous story of me and my life.

I am not someone who you can kick around, pick and choose when you want me as a friend. I shouldn't be made to feel like I have been wounded and to wander down dark corridors and feel really ill. No one has that right.