So I am being checked for a place at Uni, I have been applying for Apprenticeships and many others things of late.
I am kind of enjoying life a little if I am honest :)
Maybe that is the sunlight maybe.
Who knows :)
Concentration doesn't seem good but oh well :)
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Life the glamour, the gits and the struggles
I am needing an out let.
The last few months (since I moved to Rushden) have been odd and sometimes rather complex.
I have managed to lose friends, and the ones I have I don't get to see enough of.
I guess it all started back in March. I got a stream of Text messages from some I will refer to as X. Basically X decided I spent way to much time (I mean 3 nights and upto 5 days!) with Sarah my girl friend. They also indicated that "others" felt the same but refused to say who they were. X told me that I had to make a choice between Sarah or my friends. Now I got angry and told them they had no place to tell me who I couldn't or could be friends with, or how much time I spend with my partner, as it was none of their (collective) business and if they didn't like it then they had best to leave and not consider me their friend. X spun a tale, about how hurt they were and all that etc, and I forgave them. Things carried on as normal.
Then yesterday they tried something else, and are now pinning their issues on me.
I do wonder sometimes why I even do try to have friends and the like, so many of them are so unpleasant in the end of times. I can read people, but I never seem to understand them until too late. Then the damage is done.
Bah!
I am who I am if you really do not like that, or me, then PLEASE just say good bye, and leave for good. That is all I ask, I no longer care for the insolence and petty attitudes of others, people just hurt and then hurt me some more, it is true that you can't ever escape bullies, they keep coming back to get you in one form or another. And maybe it is horrid to say it, but Mum said this kind of behaviour is typical amongst XX individuals. Maybe she is right. I have never had issues like this with XY people. Seems to be a little too much of a coincidence right now.
I could post this somewhere else, but I am not going to, I needed to get it off my chest and not have people tell me either "I am staying Neutral, I am not getting involved etc". I never said to pick a side, and you damn well know I wouldn't ask/expect anyone to pick mine. I would do what I do best, push you all away and go back to hiding. But no, I am standing here and saying what I want in a place that is safe to me. I am voicing MY feelings, because if I did say them anywhere else, or to anyone then I know people would make me out to be the bad guy, because that is the glamorous story of me and my life.
I am not someone who you can kick around, pick and choose when you want me as a friend. I shouldn't be made to feel like I have been wounded and to wander down dark corridors and feel really ill. No one has that right.
The last few months (since I moved to Rushden) have been odd and sometimes rather complex.
I have managed to lose friends, and the ones I have I don't get to see enough of.
I guess it all started back in March. I got a stream of Text messages from some I will refer to as X. Basically X decided I spent way to much time (I mean 3 nights and upto 5 days!) with Sarah my girl friend. They also indicated that "others" felt the same but refused to say who they were. X told me that I had to make a choice between Sarah or my friends. Now I got angry and told them they had no place to tell me who I couldn't or could be friends with, or how much time I spend with my partner, as it was none of their (collective) business and if they didn't like it then they had best to leave and not consider me their friend. X spun a tale, about how hurt they were and all that etc, and I forgave them. Things carried on as normal.
Then yesterday they tried something else, and are now pinning their issues on me.
I do wonder sometimes why I even do try to have friends and the like, so many of them are so unpleasant in the end of times. I can read people, but I never seem to understand them until too late. Then the damage is done.
Bah!
I am who I am if you really do not like that, or me, then PLEASE just say good bye, and leave for good. That is all I ask, I no longer care for the insolence and petty attitudes of others, people just hurt and then hurt me some more, it is true that you can't ever escape bullies, they keep coming back to get you in one form or another. And maybe it is horrid to say it, but Mum said this kind of behaviour is typical amongst XX individuals. Maybe she is right. I have never had issues like this with XY people. Seems to be a little too much of a coincidence right now.
I could post this somewhere else, but I am not going to, I needed to get it off my chest and not have people tell me either "I am staying Neutral, I am not getting involved etc". I never said to pick a side, and you damn well know I wouldn't ask/expect anyone to pick mine. I would do what I do best, push you all away and go back to hiding. But no, I am standing here and saying what I want in a place that is safe to me. I am voicing MY feelings, because if I did say them anywhere else, or to anyone then I know people would make me out to be the bad guy, because that is the glamorous story of me and my life.
I am not someone who you can kick around, pick and choose when you want me as a friend. I shouldn't be made to feel like I have been wounded and to wander down dark corridors and feel really ill. No one has that right.
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