So I was going to blog this on QYN.
But alas the site is not working.
So I have been a bit scattered with things of late.
Since my first appoint with Notts Gender Clinic.
I have been up and down of late, drifting from things to things. I started to date someone in October but it never really worked out. I guess I needed to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons. I guess I had become needy of attention and affection. But being told that someone did like you that way and only said yes, for a reason that felt like pity. I know there were others, but that is what it felt like.
It hit me rather hard and I fell into a slump.
But there has been a girl I have know, and kind of paid attention to her for awhile. Her name is Sarah. I found her interesting and wonderful. But I feared to even say it when I first thought it, a few months back. But I took a risk last Thursday. I started talking to her. And I am very happy with what I have seen and noticed about her. She is fantastic.
I feel like I can trust her with stuff, and she is the same with me. We clicked because there are things very similar about us. She is quirky, funny, geeky, cute (and squeals a lot xD), passionate and so loving. I am excited to meet her. So excited.
This weekend is Transgender Day of Remembrance, Saturday 20th November. I am heading off to London via Northampton. Staying with one of my best friends on Earth for the weekend. And then donning the smart clothes and heading into London on the Saturday. Also the day I will meet Sarah in person. I think the reason for TDoR is incredibly important, remembering those TG people who have fallen or been taken. But also to remind us why we need to keep going forward and fighting to be the people we need to be. And never to give in to anything.
For me, I came out and nearly took that path of self destruction.
I guess things are kind of falling together and paths are all linked it seems. Maybe something is directing the decisions we make. Maybe now after trying hard to improve myself for so long as paid off. I am sorry for the people I have hurt along the way. I wish I knew how to make it up to you. But in the last year I have been through so much and many changes. I have experienced chaos and heart-brake and despair. There have been some great bits too don't get me wrong. But I have gotten scared and I have run from them. But I don't want to run any more.
I want to stand and experience the good things for once.
