So I am back to feeling like crap again.
The weather has turned nasty today, and I can't shake the dullness that has settled in.
I am back on the Anti-Depressants but they are doing little for this, to me indicating that it is environmental not psychological depression.
Bleh!
I Hate Wigan. I hate the fact that this area is so grey. So cold. So nasty. It is not a nice place to live, and when you have two types of depression going on, one being SAD it really isn't the right place to live!
I am and I know I am growing distant a lot recently. I don't want to talk to people much, or leave the house or things. I just want to sit alone. Meh!
I don't know really any more. I have never been emotional, I have never been proactive and stuff. But I have always been a passion driven person. It is how I get through stuff and survive. But that passion, and the interest and stuff that does drive me, seems to have reached a dead end. A point or a place where I am stuck in the mud.
This may be linked to the depression.
But I think there is a simpler answer. I think that since Jan/Feb I have been unemployed and for the first time out of education. I think this is what is now starting to crush me. I keep sending out CVs and filling out application forms. Then chasing them up and seeing were I am. But getting no where at all ever. I have had one interview, one interview were I was rejected as I am not a cis-female.
I guess there are two main issues in my life. One being the issues I have with depression the other being the Fact that I am so utterly bored of being on benefits. I want a job. I need one.
