More so when they have acute nocturnal insomnia, social anxiety and other issues?
I knew Atos Health, were a bunch of cunts. I shall make a complaint when I get the copy of the report. I explained how everything recent has been making my life harder, and yet they scored me less than 15 points? I mean that makes little sense. They wouldn't even tell me how many points under I am.
I have no confidence, and yet they expect me to go out, and look for work? I would be 1 in 100s if not 1000s looking for a job. I have no experience, no credentials, no nothing with which to sell myself. I mean I can't even get on voluntary work. Which means I will end up on Jobseeker's Allowance again. And that is more stressful than anything. It actually made the above things worse. And I did it for a month this year!
Which means my GP would again sign me off as unfit for work. Because that is what they believe, but no, some shitty little doctor paid for by DWP, says that yeah I am unwell, but I should be Jobseeking. Try doing it with the above issues. Then add not feeling comfortable in the body your in, due to it not matching your gender. I have so little confidence, I have little of all the things needed for someone to work.
I don't want to spend the next few years, below the bottom rung. I wanted to get things under way, take a few months and work on my problems so that I could go back to Uni or something. But that doesn't seem like an option. I hate signing on, I hate having to trawl through every shop, paper, website looking for work, because I know, no where wants a University drop out, who has more problems and issue than they are worth. It makes me ill, knowing that no where actually cares. I am pissed of with being treated like crap, just because I can speak fluent English, and my issues are largely in my head.
But what the fuck am I actually meant to do? I have applied for just about everything I can, and things I feel I would be good at. I was meant to have an interview for an apprenticeship, but they cancelled on me. I have handed out over 150 copies of my CV. Had one reply, a decline. There is no where to go, no way to get a job. I feel so tired and so fucked up all the time. Mum doesn't help, with her comments of "Snap out of it" or "Your just being lazy!" or my personal favourite"Go back to Uni, do something with your life." I can't. I am not lazy, she doesn't see that I apply for courses everyday. I have tried snapping out of it, but it is deeper than you could ever understand. And as for Uni, it was pointless, I wasn't going to learn a single thing. Because I can't learn from visual learning methods. I need a lot of support, which Unis are not going to give.
So really, until I start working on my issues, and have space to do so, what quality of life can I expect to have? I mean really.
