The Low first.
So yeah massive depressive moods fucking suck. But one tiny problem after the next and well I relapsed. A few shallow cuts are now on my leg. I just didn't have the strength to stop it. Oh well, cleaned them. So they should heal fine.
I had a decent day, I am finding it hard to piece it together why I did what I did. And why I have been negatively daydreaming. Far as I can see, a little bit of everything, stress, trans crap and the fact I am still somewhat very self hating for not being able to truly understand sex and as such knowing I am Asexual, I guess is a damaging piece of knowledge. I can't change it, but I guess I will always worry about it, and how it will effect future relationships.
*Sigh*
The High point.
I am out to Mum.
She started the converstation, and I was explaining something, and she asked if I felt like I was trans. I said yes, and proceeded to explain about Agenderism, feeling closer to female than male, but still somewhat nothing too. And genderqueerness and all that. She took it on board, and accepted it. Said that as long as I make sure to get the proper help, she will have nothing to worry about, and will support me. But that change of things will take time.
We also talked about some of the biological characteristics I show. And how I have always worn baggy clothes etc. Mum said I had been strongly male, always a little odd at times. We then talked about Asexualism. I had to explain how I reached that, but again Mum said it was kind of a bit clear to her. I had never been like most lads.
We talked a lot, and it felt good to get some things off my chest at last.
I hope that this is the start of good things at home and with the family.
