I have been bullied for a very long time.
I just about every way that you can think of.
Physical, name calling, threats, mental abuse, sexual abuse. You name it I have experienced some form of it at some point in my life.
But for me personally what I find worse is Exclusion. It is disgusting. Maybe it is the fact that I have a fair few siblings and have always played games together and stuff, but I think to purposely ignore someone is just wrong. It is rude. And rather vile. Don't get me wrong I am far from perfect. But even on a site designed to support and help someone, I am finding that I am largely ignored. This came to a point when a senior member asked if it bothered me that I seem to be being excluded. Yes it bloody well does.
So why the rant out of the blue? Well went to B.yoU tonight. But for some unknown reason it didn't seem to be running, none of the workers were there. But the 3 of us that did turn up we chatted and got invited to join a youth group that was there and running. They seemed like such unusual young people. They respected each other, they weren't argumentative and they gave each other the chance to talk and be involved. Which from the other youth projects I have been too, is completely abnormal. There is normally a lot of bitching and fighting going on. So being asked to be involved was nice. But there was a young lad, the workers didn't seem to know what to do with him, he seemed to be both self exclusive and they seemed to exclude him a little too. It just bothered me, because I hate the fact that it happens to me.
I will never say I am the most social or the greatest company, but being ignored and left out really does hurt. I guess I am not the most wonderful person to know, but still it doesn't make it right or fair. Same with people I was once, or at least I felt, a good friend too, just blocking me, removing me as a friend etc. Leaves me feeling abandoned. Maybe my issues are with loneliness?
Anyway here is a link to my vlog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD_an4PYd6E
