So where is it that my mind has been walking down.
Romance, I guess.
And the queer side of being Asexual.
And issues of Transgenderism.
It is all a jumbled and disorganised pile in my head. I don't think about things in a logical A to B manner. I tend to see things and experience them in a certain manner. One that gives me a chance to understand and handle them all. I need to process everything at my own pace.
I have come to some kind of crossroad.
I meet people I like. Their gender isn't important, I accept anything and everything. Because that is who I am. But I know that people have a lot of issues with how I present. I guess genderfuck is the most adequate term. It isn't cheap being Trans. And for a MtF it feels even worse because one of the most important things is facial/body hair and getting rid of it is not cheap. So this in part makes me resist and hold back from even trying beyond the internet.
I know that some people accept me for what I am, and how I identify as. But I find it hard. I tend to be wrapped up in layers of clothing. I am more prone to trangst than I pretend or show. But I try very hard to just keep going. I work through it time and time again. Because that is what I need to do. I fight through stuff a lot really.
Guess I am scared by it, that maybe mum is right.
A mind that walks in darkness needs to be illuminated.
