So I told Mum I am changing my name this week. I have yet to tell her about the pronoun change, but I am working out how best to say "Yeah by the way, I am going as Mx from now on, because I am genderqueerish to female."
Just doesn't seem like a polite way to say it.
Being Trans is going to effect my family more than being queer in other ways, I know some would say that it is no one else's life etc, but I know I won't get far with out some level of acceptance. I have been hint dropping and to an extent actually openly talking to mum about Transgenderism and stuff. So one might expect that she has gotten some level of an idea that that is where my life is going. 6 more days, and I will be speaking to the Psych. And hopefully getting the referral I need.
Here is hoping, I might see if Janet is available next Monday I could do with talking to someone who will not patronise me for being me.
But here is the question, how do I one talk to my Mum about change of title and about change of gender, as an actual fact?
Part of me is driven by fear of losing her, the other part by pure determination to be who I am.
Those who know me, will probably know that I have returned to QYN, and that the top half of this has been posted on there. But there is more.
I am changing My name fully to the following: Mx Terran Alexandria Leslie Edwards. Because phonetically it feels and sounds right to me. I need a name that in an odd sense can be as fluid as I am at times. Boxes are for cereal not for people. And I hate to be one thing for too long. More so when it is something that I am not.
This following question appeared on my Formspring today.
"you say you want to be a girl yet all your facebook dp's are really manly.... doesnt make much sense
I have a long way to go, I will transition and feel comfortable with how and when I look. Too many people use the outside to see too many things, but all those who know me in person say I am pretty female."
Other than the terrible grammar, it made me laugh, just because I am not fem, doesn't mean I am not female. Some people are so occupied with how the outside looks they fail to see the person inside. Hence my response. Yet there did seem to be some good Samaritan. Who made a post in my defence.
"want to be a girl? she IS a girl. learn some queer etiquette you retard.people can identify and represent gender however they want.
Thank you kindly Samaritan, I agree with this completely."
Seeing as The other person seems to be on my Facebook profile, and they managed to lack any level of queer etiquette was disheartening if I am honest. More so as 99% of my Facebook friends are Queer in some way, minus my older brother. I guess this is part of the struggle for Transwomen everywhere.
Life is never simple, yet we most always soldier forever onwards, from one battle to the next simply to prove that we do as a matter of fact exist.
