I have had the Mirtazapine increased to 45mg, and it is having the effects of a sedative again, meaning that last night I slept rather well, kind of cuddle up with Karl. And didn't really come round till about 2 in the afternoon! Which for me is a big thing. Therefore something to be happy about.
Because Karl is still a volunteer and member of QYN, today I was able to observe some what of a rather typical argument between volunteers on the forum. It kind of highlighted one of the reasons I don't feel I can return to the forum, that of people from a certain area assuming that they are better than anyone else. This is further causing me to not want to return seeing as with the coming move to Milton Keynes, I would end up in that area, and to be frank, I am not keen on becoming involved what so ever with the South East group.
Mind I will do my best to find some Queer related place to join when I do move down to this kind of area. Because I like the fact that I have the B.yoU and OMG projects in Wigan, and I like the fact that I am able to travel to see others friends and stuff, so therefore I would like to be able to transition directly from one group to the next. I have discovered the necessities of a supportive youth focused activity project and I wish to continue to attend one as soon as I move down to Milton Keynes.
I guess if things were or are changed for the better then a small part of me would like to return to QYN, but a larger part of my mind says that it isn't the best place for a difficult minded young Transwoman. There has to be a good place, and I am hoping that there is a Trans inclusive youth Project in the Milton Keynes area, because it would be nice to meet some new people, and it would also be nice to be involved with something too.
Emotions are proving as confusing as always, I never know to trust them or not, but who knows, there might be somethings worth following through, if the other day proved anything, attraction never really disappears. So who knows, we shall see what happens.
Mind I guess you get used to an area, I wouldn't say I love Wigan, but it has become something of a comfy pair of shoes over the years, there are places and people I can be me around, a bit a weird and unstable person at times, but still people who accept and tolerate me, I will find it hard to leave that behind.
Until next time..... RAWR!......
