Pride in 15 hours.
I have put in a fair few hours work on stuff this year. I am rather happy and sad to be part of it. It is my last Pride with the B.yoU project most likely. It is also reconned that it is going to be the last pride for a long time, due to the budget cuts. I have mixed feelings about it.
The B.yoU Project has been something rather important in my life for nearly the last 16 months. It has been a life line, a place where I could socialise, I have had many invaluable chances with them and I have been accepted by the members and staff. They were there for me through a lot of things. Like coming out to my Mum as Queer after climbing a cliff wall. There when I came out as Transgendered. There through the hard parts of dealing with that treacherous hag from Manchester. And yet both members and staff have been highly supportive of me through everything. I am going to miss them, more than I can actually ever show them. I will.
I joined QYN and B.yoU at the same time. May last year. I have been though fuck loads of stuff since then. I have grown more in 16 months than I did in 20 years. I have found out who I am. And what I am made of. I am determined, persistent and a little depressed. But I am much more. I am someone who is capable of having friendships and romantic relationships. I can cope under extreme pressure and negativity for long periods of time. Yes I will admit I have had issues with Self Harm, but never with self loathing, I have always respected myself I guess.
I have evolved and mutated from that weird, silent long haired boything, to a socially capable young transwoman. And things can only improve over time. I have direction and purpose in my life again. And I will do what I can to become a better evolved and balanced person. Emotionally I do move from one to the other. But I have done that for years, but I know how to deal with the bad times and the good. I do manage to fight the urge to Harm myself and 99% of the time I win. Because I know that I have to. I am not as vulnerable as I have been. There are reasons for that, They are called friends and support. I have them both.
I will move to Milton Keynes come November. And I will get involved with stuff down that way. But I will miss what I have built here in Wigan.
A journey should be experienced. Because there is more to it than just the travel from A to B.
