Me, well some people call me the Hero. More than a few call me or have made me the Villain
These people who I consider my friends have told me that I am more the hero who has been sent on a trip to hell.
I won't lie I have been living in a unpleasant patch of darkness for a while. And yes that has lead to moaning and whinging. But you know what, too all the people who keep hurting me, Go Fuck Yourselves sideways! PLEASE!
Yes I put on a brave face, I try to work hard and keep going. I turn all the shit I get in to some kind of joke or satirical story. Because that is how I cope. I do my best to find a positive, sometimes the best place for that is humour in the situation, like when this kid who was round used to call me fat. I saw the irony and the humour in it.
A rather incredible young person I have begun to get to know said this about me today
"I know your life will turn around terra
It'll be amazing when it does."
I hope that they are right.
I know some people actually bother to read this. I am glad that they do.
I have more issues than I would like, but through this medium and Vlogging I am doing my best to untangle them, and then to work on them. But it is complex, and confusing at times. I try to do it alone, but sometimes I need other peoples input. I need some help to understand myself.
I am fearing that someone is coming between a very important and close friend. You see I was targeted by some heinous and hideous lies, again. I know he will read this, I don't want anything to come between us. But you need to understand that lad, has cut me deep, very deep.
I am looking for something to make life move from existence to Living again. There has to be something. The last time I felt truly alive well was Manchester Pride. That made a massive impact on my mind :) So hear is hoping that I can get the same feeling this year.
Hmm I don't think I am going to understand people any time soon...
