I haven't slept in nearly 50 hours, not since Sunday Afternoon.
I went B.yoU as per-normal on a Tuesday. Following what little routine I kind of have. I just didn't feel like I belonged there. Not today.
Yeah there are some thick shites who can't fathom how hard transgenderism is for a Transperson.
I don't know if it was lack of sleep or stress. or whatever, but I went to talk to Janet. Things have gotten to the point that I need to talk to someone.
I feel awful for doing so, but I knew I had to do it.
But is has made me think about everything. I mean everything I can remember over the last 22 years.
It kind of just came out about how I felt and stuff. And some of the crap I have been through.
I felt stupid for it.
I find talking about my past, feelings, and things so hard. So very hard and distressing. I have been feeling down for a long time, but I am starting to know that I need the help, even if it is just to keep myself going for a bit longer.
We also talked about the fact that medication is often used to suppress rather than treat depression.
I am scared.
I hope that the one to one sessions I have been offered might help me in the long run.
I hope that things can work out. Even just for a little while
